Tom Quotes

"Do I look feminine when I stand like this?"

"Please don't throw up your dirty toilet paper. Im not hungry."

"I haven't grown up at all since I was a freshmen in high school and neither has my penis."

"Some people think we're idiots and perverts, which we are."

"Why do you keep throwing clothes at me? Obviously you don't like what I'm wearing."

"I've masturbated like 5 times in the last 24 hours...it hurts...it's going to fall off."

"The only reason I bought a computer was to look up UFO sites and learn how to get probed. Anally."

"We take our music very seriously."

"I'm sick of been known as the sexy guy who writes the songs."           Tom

"I came up with a little formula - If you write songs about girls you get girls at shows. We write a lot of songs about girls."

"I believe in unicorns. I mean, who doesn't?"

"I'm gonna fucking tell everyone about aliens. And the aliens are gonna show up and be all, 'Thanks Tom. No one knew about us. No one knew who we were, but you totally told everybody. Thank you so much'. And I'll be like, 'Dude, no problem aliens.' What are you laughing at, this is real shit."

Mark Quotes

"Let's hear it for blow jobs everyone."

"Tom is making love with men....right now."

"Alright, if I had to sleep with a man it would be Harrison Ford."

"They always want to see how big our penises are."

"Disney movies are fuckin' bitching."             Mark

"Instead of fighting with our fists or guns or knifes or anything, we fight using dance."

"If you're under 18 you can't flash us unless you brought a note from your parents."

"For me, sex with a girl is a race to orgasm, and I am undefeated."

"I can have sex with each and every girl here...and be home in time for dinner."

"Nothing's uglier or stupider looking than a naked guy, and making a video out of that was a little uncomfortable and fun at the same time."

"The only people who have told us to stop saying what we say is Congress."

Travis Quotes

"If I were a condom, I'd be too big."

"We are just a silly little punk band."

"I cannot have anything to do with something that suggests violence."

"I'm kinda sweaty, why? - Wanna go do something?"

"Our music has nothing to do with politics or aggression. It's all about fun."

"Tom and Mark have all the small things...I have all the big things"    Travis

"Awe, are you saying you never dyed your hair? Mr. Purple hair like 2 months ago..."

"Everything is beautiful in this band. It's much simpler than the nine piece I was in before."

"I wanted to be a pro skater, but I kept on hurting myself to the point where I couldn't even do it anymore."

"Put me up in front of a million people, and ask me to speak, I'll flop. But put me behind my drums and I'll always go with it."

ABOUT MARK:
THE BEST ADVICE HIS MOM EVER GAVE HIM: "to believe in myself and follow my heart"
HIS NICKNAME: "fishguts - I like to fish"
HE WOULD LOVE TO GO TO DINNER WITH: "Ralph Wiggam from the Simpsons"
ABSOLUTELY REFUSES TO EAT: "vegetables"
THE BEST PART ABOUT BEING FAMOUS: "being able to make a living doing what I love"
SOME THINGS YOU'LL FIND IN HIS FRIDGE: "I love to cook, Its always well stocked"
NOTHING MAKES HIM WANT TO DANCE THAN: "Nothing makes me wanna dance. I look like such an idiot when I try. Dancing sucks."

What they have to say.

WEDDINGS
MARK: "Tom has been engaged for 8 months now, and Travis just got engaged Christmas Eve 2000. We all found the right girls-we got lucky-at the right time. None of us even knew when Travis proposed. He called me up 2 days later and hes all 'Dude! I got engaged!' And im like, "You Dick! You didnt tell me at all!" When I was buying an engagement ring, I talked to everyonem, like, 'What about this ring?' 'What about that ring?' Travis just went out and did it."

TOM:"Im going to wear a suit when I get married. Im not one of those dorks who goes, 'Yeah, I've gotta get maried in, like, a tank top on the beach with my ripped up Dickies.' No, I wanna have a nice wedding."

MARK: "Im more casual. I wore sneakers at my wedding because it was more comfortable. The ceremony was 15 minutes and we didnt have a whole sit-down dinner. We had a sushi bar and we had candy-runts. We also had this rad Dixieland jazz band. We just wanted people to come, have some good food, and go home."